How to become a heroin addict

This takes serious effort. It should not be taken lightly or attempted by amateurs.

1. Procure hundreds of dollars worth of heroin and a large supply of emergency naloxone kits.
2. Procure several hundred syringes.
3. Inject more heroin intravenously four to six times daily for 28 days.
4. Experience light, slightly noticeable flu-like symptoms.
5. Choose to continue using heroin.
6. Procure several thousand dollars worth of heroin and several hundred syringes.
7. Continue to intravenously inject heroin in increasing dosages with decreasing effects for 56 days.
8. Experience moderate, flu-like symptoms.
9. Choose to continue using heroin.
10. Procure thousands of dollars worth of heroin and one thousand syringes.
11. Continue to intravenously inject heroin in increasing dosages with decreasing effects for 168 days.
12. Experience moderate heroin withdrawal.
13. Procure thousands of dollars worth of heroin and one thousand syringes.
14. Continue to intravenously inject heroin in increasing dosages with decreasing effects for 113 days.
15. You are now a fully physically dependent heroin addict.
16. Continue administering heroin 4 to 6 times a day for several years to partly rewire your central nervous system.
17. Switch to methadone.
18. Stay on methadone for at least five years at a dosage above 25mg per day.
19. Congratulations. Your central nervous system is now permanently rewired and will always require opiates to function normally.
20. Quit methadone for two years. Become violently ill and constantly feel abnormal.
21. Resume methadone, not as an addict, but  as the result of your now permanent physiological dependence on opiates for normal neural function.

Congratulations. You have now evolved into Homo morpheus and require opiates along with your food and oxygen to survive.

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